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11.19.2006

Las dependencias de los genios

*****
"Las drogas no son malas, todos tus ídolos las toman"
-
Homer Simpson (a su hijo Bart)
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Hace poco cayó en mis manos una publicación que recoge el contenido de la exposición"Los humoristas del 27" que coordinó el Museo Nacional Reina Sofía hace ya casi cinco años (2002) con motivo del centenario del nacimiento de Enrique Jardiel Poncela, uno de los pocos escritores con talento de los que puede disfrutar el lector de habla hispana.

Me sorprendió esta personalísima confesión suya, publicada en el semanario Buen Humor el año 1925.


[...]


"Nadie ignora cuanto he sufrido en mi aperreada y aporreada vida; mis innumerables crímenes, los años bisiestos que pasé encerrado en el presidio de Tolón, todas mis aventuras y desventuras. ¿Qué fin podía ser ya el mío en este planeta, imparalizable y achatado por los polos? Ninguno. ¿En qué había de poner mi fe? En nada. ¿Hacia qué punto cardinal iba a volver mis ojos en busca de la ilusión? Hacia ningún punto, porque ya he ido, punto por punto, siguiendo los cuatro puntos.


En consecuencia, a nadie puede extrañar que un día, en la lejana Alejandría, yo decidiese buscar y encontrar algún medio que me proporcionase el alivio absoluto y el descanso de quince minutos de mi espíritu.


Pensé en el alcohol, más lo rechacé, porque me hace daño a la garganta; pensé en sumergirme en el amor de las mujeres y no lo hice porque las tengo miedo, fenómeno que aparece en el corazón de todo hombre sensato. Además, yo he tenido un ejército de amores fugitivos: Eulalia, la "Elegante"; Juanita, "La gramófono"; y la "Francesilla"; la "Espasa"; Luz, "la Paisajista", y cien más, que ya no me interesan.


Fue entonces cuando pensé en la morfina. No crean ustedes que la morfina es una de mis amigas, no. Me refiero al alcaloide conocido con ese nombre seductor y farmacéutico. La morfina no era una mujer; a mí las mujeres me aburren ya, casi tanto como una orgía en un coche de punto. ¡Era el alcaloide venenoso lo que recordé en aquel momento de agobio en el que mi cerebro era un bazar en plena liquidación por derribo!


Ustedes habrán oído hablar de la morfina; apenas hay un tango donde no aparezca, ni una novela donde no actúe. Y, asimismo, habrán oído decir que provoca más estragos que una galerna. Pues bien: ¡Me dediqué a la morfina con un ensaño de asesino mal pagado! Y para que ustedes no sigan por ese camino por donde yo voy hacia la muerte, les describiré los aterradores efectos que esa droga causó y causa en mi persona.


Primera inyección: Alegría inusitada. Comezón, que no tarda en convertirse en realidad, de bailar la sardana con un almacenista de paños.


Segunda inyección: Optimismo rebosante. La vida toma un color rosáceo que da gusto. Se dan vivas a Carulla y a Bertrán Dugesclín. Se cree en los amigos, en los ferroprusitos, en los ferrocarriles y en la eficacia del clorato de potasa. Se planea el desarrollo de una zarzuela en tres actos. Se afirma a todo el que quiere oir que uno entiende los "menús" de los banquetes de homenaje.


Tercera inyección: Crece el optimismo de un modo que aprece que le han abonado con nitrato de Chile. Se va a ver trabajar a la compañía de Ribas. Cacho y se sale satisfechísimo del espectáculo.


Cuarta, quinta y sexta inyecciones: Decaimiento brusco; alucinaciones frecuentísimas.


Séptima y octava inyecciones: Principio de desequilibrio; se compra uno un aparato de galena.


Novena inyección: Estupidez declarada; no se deja de oir ni un solo radioconcierto.


Décima inyección: Desequilibrio total. Se jura que en toda España hay más de seis mil pesetas. Se coleccionan fototipias.


Inyecciones siguientes: El cerebro es un caos con aplicaciones de incongruencia paradisíaca. Se hace uno escritor. Y se firma debajo de lo que se escribe pensando que le interesa a alguien."


*******





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Rebossa ironia. En aquest sentit ja havia llegit el Burroughs (Fent un salt en el temps i les distàncies, els oceans i les teulades) que parlava de la disbauxa que li provocava la droga i del seu arrel en la societat (val, era molt més escatològic, però la ironia hi era).

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